“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations. ” Jeremiah 1:5
You know how you pick out names ahead of time when you are trying to have children because it is one of the exciting parts? About a year ago, after about a year of trying for a baby we picked out a name for a boy even though, still to this day we don’t have a child yet. One day my husband just up and said Jeremiah. I like the name Jeremiah Glenn. Cute right? It flows, it’s an adult name, I like it. So it stuck. If we ever have a little boy his name will be Jeremiah Glenn. Now prior to picking this name about a year ago neither of us, and my husband still doesn’t; know about the book of Jeremiah. I mean, I know who he was but I never took the time to read his book.
About 6 months ago, I ordered a few things from a Illustrated Faith website and one of the first items they sent me was some bible study cards and some journaling materials because I was trying to get into the hobby of bible journaling. I never picked up those cards until 2 nights ago when I was writing my weekly blog on my bible studies and realized that the very first card I pulled out of the stack was meant to be in my possession. I then read the back of the card and it got even more quirkier from there.
It just stuck out like a sore thumb to me once I read it, and I was left thinking what a ironic card to pull first from the stack. For the last year and a half, almost 2 years my husband and I have been trying for a baby. I wasn’t hardly having cycles and I didn’t know why and no one could tell me why. It’s like they just disappeared into thin air. They were always regular before. It was frustrating. They kept telling me it was my weight. You guys, I only weigh a 163 pounds and my height is around 5’2″. I really AINT fat at all, other than a little bit of love handles. I was healthy. Running and working out most days, but nothing was working. I just found out this past August that I was riding the Type 2 Diabetic diagnosis and that is why all the other crap I was doing before didn’t make a difference. For the last 3 months I have had a normal cycle and have kept my insulin down and we are hoping to get things back on track. My husband and I started this Keto diet and he dropped 42 pounds since August and I’ve dropped 12. I’m really proud of him, just really proud of us in general!
Honestly we have hit that run where we just don’t care what happens, we are still extremely young. It doesn’t mean we have changed our minds, trust me. We haven’t. We just aren’t stressing anymore and I’m glad that we have found the root of the problem. But for almost 2 years without a cycle and all these crazy hormones and just the feeling yucky and just down, I mean it SUCKED. I kept asking Why me? It’s the most commonly used question when you are starting to lose faith in something or someone. It makes it 10 times worse when everyone around you and your close friends are having babies and people continuously ask you “When are you guys going to finally have a baby?” and questions like that all the time. Stuff starts to really build up you know? And it isn’t their fault or anyone else’s. I LOVE that my friends are having children, that just means more babies to add to my auntie status! I love spoiling all the babies!
Back to Jeremiah 1:5. God works wonders. He has your whole life planned out before hand. He knows what you can and can’t handle and he knows the right timing of such. 2018 hasn’t been the best year and I am not going to lie, I asked Why Me? WAY more than I should have. I still continuously ask this question but somehow I keep getting pulled back into faith, like picking up this study card.
He said I knew you and then created you. I appointed you. He then says; “Do not say , “I am only a youth,” for to all to whom I send you, you shall go, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you. ” Jeremiah 1:6-8
He planted and sent this child and made it a point that this is what you are here for and this is your time to shine baby boy.
So I’m not going to stress. He will plant that seed when it is time. He will make his presence known when the time is right.
So for all my ladies that are in a situation similar to mine, and the test keeps showing negative and the question keeps popping up “Ugh why hasn’t it happened yet” Be as patient as you can, you are only human and you are going to wonder sometimes and get stressed out. You aren’t ready to be a gardener yet, so the seed doesn’t need to be planted until the soil is ready. You got this.