Chaos 31

Well we finally made it to 31 weeks! We are on that downhill slope to week 40 now. I cannot express how ready my husband and I are to have our sweet baby love here with us. We did finally decided on a name for him. His name is Elijah Russell Ramey. I love the name Elijah and the meaning of it. If you have read any of my past blogs, then you know I love to express my feelings about God and all that stuff, and surprisingly I didn’t even pick his name! I chose his middle name, but my husband chose his first name! I was ecstatic.

This has been by far the longest, roughest, pregnancy. I feel like that anyway. I’m gonna express some pretty heavy feelings real quick before I get into more topics on this post. My husband and I have tried for almost three years to get this little miracle child to come into our lives. We miscarried in May of 2019. That was literally one of the saddest, roughest moments of my life, and most likely my husbands too. Then three months later we conceived little Eli, and it completely rocked our world again. You can only imagine the year of 2019, after being told in December of 2018 that pregnancy couldn’t even happen on our own without fertility medicine or treatment. So excited is an understatement in this particular case. I don’t want to sound like I am complaining, but this has been a really hard pregnancy for me. At the beginning I was so scared that something was going to happen to him. That he would be taken away from me as fast as his brother/sister was from me the first time. I was anxious, but the anxiousness never really went away. I still have it now. To this day. I have tried my absolute best to enjoy this pregnancy the best that I can without trying to get to anxious or overly excited because just the thought of this being ripped away from me, scared me so much! He’s been healthy this whole time. It’s me, his poor momma that hasn’t been in the best shape.

At 20 weeks we got diagnosed with gallstones, AKA Gallbladder Disease. Gallstones is seriously one of the worse pains I have EVER felt in my life. Honestly, I’m starting to think that gallstone pain is going to be worse than labor pain. If that’s the case, I got this shit in the bag when I do go into labor. If you don’t know what gallstones/gallbladder disease, it’s when your gallbladder is full of gallstones, and when a gallstones passes, it passes through this tiny duct, and it is so bad. It’s like a kidney stone, but in your upper region, instead of your lower region. If you have a real bad case of it, like I do, it causes vomiting, nausea, and chills/cold sweats. There is absolutely nothing you can do to get rid of the gallstones, or to help the gallstone attack while in the middle of one. You just have to wait it out. Sometimes I like to think that the hot bath or hot peppermint tea or the heating pad helps get rid of it, but it’s kind of a mind over matter thing. Gallstones form from having to much bile in the gallbladder and can be triggered by eating very fatty meals, like fried, greasy, junk food, or high fat dairy items, or leafy greens.

So at 20 weeks, we found out that I had gallstones. SOOOO there goes all of that yummy food I’ve been eating. I always thought when you were pregnant that you had the freedom to eat whatever you wanted with no excuses? Yeah not Ashley’s pregnancy. Okay, so fast forward to around 28 weeks pregnant. So, I took my gestational diabetes test and I failed it twice. So now I am gestational along with already being insulin resistant, so. Here I am, pricking my finger four times a day now. So now I’m on a fat free, sugar free diet! Oh how splendid. Fast forward again to 29 in a half weeks. Since I got diagnosed with gallstones at 20 weeks, I have done a pretty good job at keeping them at bay. Well at 29 in a half weeks, these HOES STARTED ACTING UP AGAIN!!!!!!! Like bad, bad, bad, acting up. at 30 weeks and 4 days, I was in the ER with the worse gallstone attack I’ve ever had, I just couldn’t handle it anymore. Also previously I was diagnosed by my specialist that does my gestational stuff, with a short cervix. So we were already at high risk for preterm labor. We had been holding off on gallbladder removal surgery till after I had him, so the risk would go down. But it got so bad when I went to the ER, we decided to take it out, and then after talking with my OB and Surgeon that it was just to risky and decided not to do it, and to continue trying to manage it with diet.

So to say, this has been one of the longest, hardest pregnancy’s EVER! In reality, it’s really my first almost full one and geez, it makes me not want to go through it again, but I know one day I’ll probably want the little girl too, to give E a sibling.

So yesterday I hit 31 weeks, and it has been so chaotic. I just want to get back to a normal routine. I feel like the energy has been sucked out of me. I’ve been on bed rest, and I’m pale. I’m ready for these 9 weeks to fly by. Everyone is like, awe don’t rush it. He needs to stay in there longer. He is the boss right now. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!!! It’s literally shutting my body down. If I say I’m ready and I am being impatient, then that means I AM READY! Just my opinion.

Welcome to early mom life I guess Ya’ll. It’s an adjustment. But you guys can at least enjoy my cute bump pics throughout this crappy, emotional, update on pregnancy blog.

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